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Request Please review and tell me what you think

Discussion in 'Community Reviews' started by Austin Rowsell, Feb 24, 2019.

  1. Austin Rowsell
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    Austin Rowsell Rising User Freedom! Member

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2015
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    Hey so I want opinions on my new draft for my description, please let me know what you think!!!
    "Hey fellow gamer, TotingGames here, I play fps games like call of duty. As well as upcoming new video games like star citizen and apex legends. I provide commentary and background music for entertainment. You want Technical tips on computers well we do that here under my Technology playlist.
    So what are you waiting for? Watch, enjoy, and engage in all my social media pages today!!!"

    Thanks
    TotingGames
     
    #1
  2. Somali - Entertainment
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    Somali - Entertainment Respected User Freedom! Member

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  3. SparktheYoshi
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    SparktheYoshi Respected User Freedom! Member

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    I would suggest not using the term "gamer" but that's just me. You may also want to work on spelling and capitalization as people may be turned off by the lack of that. Also on that, the excessive use of punctuation at the end.
     
    #3

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