Growing up

[LifelessDane]

Good morning everyone.

Today I am starting this discussion about "Growing up", which is clearly expressed in the header of this post.

I start this discussion because I am unsure of alot of things in life, however each time, where I actually am sure of what I want to do, I am hold back by my parents and their "Your are not thinking clearly"-speech.

Maybe this require a bit more basic information about me to actually make sence.
Well some of you may know me already, but I am a 19 Year old guy living in north-west region of Denmark (EU).
For the last few months I have been planing to move, once I start at university after the summer. Good ide right? Well not if you ask my parents.

Each time I bring up the topic, where I say I wish to move, they always say things as following:
-

It is stupid for you to move since it only take 3 hours with bus from here to the university.

(Well here things to notice is, I have to get up at 4 am, then take a bike 24km to the busstation, for then to take 3 hours in bus, Which I then will be at the university at 9am, which is 1 hour to late for my first lessons).
-

You only want to move because your friend is moving.

(My parents got the idea to think I base my decisions and actions, because a friend of mine is doing the same, the issue on this part is the fact that my friend is a girl, which they think I have a crush on)
-

Don't make the same mistakes as your father.

(My parents believe, if I move out I will make the same mistakes as my father did. My father in this cased lived in the capital of Denmark, which is a much more expencive place to live, Even though I have to take a loan to afford the deposit of the apartment, I can in my case pay it in full within 2 to 3 years, where my father got stuck with the debt for 15 years, because he didn't want to complet his university studies).

So I am kind of in a dilemma, I don't know what I should do, my options is;
1. Stay home, get up each day at 4am, spent 6 hours on bus transport each day and always be late for morning lectures.
2. Move out, get up each day at 7am, spent 30 minutes on bike transport each day, and always be there for morning lessons.

For the second option, I however have to take a loan to pay the apartment deposit, which I plan to be able to pay off in a 2 or 3 year period, Which means it is paid once i finish my bachlor degree at university.

I would like to get some opinions and maybe some suggestions for what I should do?
Honestly I would like to do the second option, however how do I convice my parents to let me move?

 

[MSHAY Gaming]

Look this is obviously a huge life decision and we are all here to help and voice opinions but this is somthing you got to work out on your own. If im honest point 2 is the better fit, mainly because its what everyone else going to uni does and ofcourse you already said yourself its what you want. Let me tell you point 1 is going to make you miserable! 6 hours of your life wasted everyday on a bus will destroy your morale and i garauntee you will quit your uni a few weeks in. Plus you will have coursework to finish and assigments but you will have almost no time to complete because by the time you get home your going to bed again! It makes no sense atall. Besides life is about taking some risks, your parents cant be the reason for you not to live your life a little. Your 19 and should make your own choices, yes your parents obviously care and are worried but they have to let go at some point. If your sure you can pay off your debts then i cant see an issue. Even if you get a weekend job to help. Oh and also theres no point in uni if your missing lessons everyday, that defeats the point of going lol if this university is what you want then i think 2 is your only reasonable option, number 1 will give you no life apart from travelling and uni. I dont mean to sound offensive and please do not take it that way but your parents are being a little foolish if they are saying a 6 hour daily bus ride and biking and missing lessons is a good idea. Look if you think you can make it work go for it, dont let anyone hold you back if you think you have things worked out. Goodluck to you i hope this helps.

 

[Koala_Steamed]

Is there any sort of government funding for living away from your parents? Honestly both options don't sounds great, 6 hours of travel I'd say is pretty much out of the question though. I used to spend 3 hours a day on travel and that was pretty bad. Taking out a loan is a huge step especially when you first start out at uni and only 19 years old, you may find that you absolutely hate the course, but as you are tied into the loan you are forced to stick it out and end up being miserable.

Maybe see if you can find cheaper accommodation, like sharing a house with others as well as getting some sort of government/university funding if they have it. You could even try asking for an interest free loan from your parents paying that off each week with part time work or something like that.

 

[OnlyUltimate]

Have you ever thought of moving as a family? It doesn't have to be you moving on your own.

 

[LifelessDane]

Well thanks for all the replies to this post.
Well @MSHAY Gaming i understand fully your message and I don't take it as offencive at all I agree with my parents being foolish, because I know I would die on a 6 hours bus ride a day, it is hard enough with me taking a 2 hour busdrive now just for high school.

@Koala_Steamed Well I have my SU (Statens Uddannelsesstøtte) = (Goverment educationsupport fund).
I get 6015Dkr ($850 USD) paid out each month, this money are free of taxes, because of my taxcards.
Besides of that I am allowed to earn 18000Dkr ($2550 USD) extra from flexjob (Free time jobs). However I have to pay the 39% taxfee from that amount, Which means I can have estimated 10.900Dkr ($1500 USD) as a maximum extra payout each month.
The loan I should take for accommodation is a must, because I can't save up enough in time. However the deposit of the accommodation is between 15.000Dkr - 20.000Dkr ($2100 - $2900USD). This is a standard deposit rate for accommodation in Denmark, so it can't be done much cheaper than that.
I have spoken to my economy advicer in my local bank, who maybe also will be the bank who provide me the loan. They explained to me as following:

Since you already are a part of our "Check-in" bank services, We can provide a Check-in Loan at any amount of your need.
We can provide your needed amount of 20.000Dkr, which you can pay off in a period of 3 to 10 years. We have a relative low interest rate on 8,5% to 10,25% and a small loan administration fee on 800dkr + 2% of the loan which we cashout to you.

This means I have a loan on roughly 21224Dkr ($3030 USD) which I am allowed to pay in a period on 3 to 10 years. I plan on do it on 3 years which will then mean i shall pay 700Dkr ($100 USD) a month for 36 months.
So loan to pay back is not really an issue in my opinion. I am also allowed to pay more than the $100 USD, if I want, then I pay off the loan even faster.
I have made a budget based on the information of the loan and the accommodation prices with all the payments. [CLICK TO VIEW IN DROPBOX]
Note (since my loan is below 25.000Dkr) I am going to have the 8.5% interest to pay back. In my budget I counted it as if I should pay the 10.25% interest
https://www.dropbox.com/s/i1afr8d5s38ayf3/Kopi af budget_avanceret-v1_excel.xlsx?dl=0
@OnlyUltimate Well moving as a family is not an option. My parents are very low income, my mother don't work and my father works full time at the local school. Moving means we have to lay over everything in our family economy and since my parents are of low income and still have a debt on the house we live in now, they aren't able to move, even if they wanted to.

 

[Tom Cryer]

Good morning everyone.

Today I am starting this discussion about "Growing up", which is clearly expressed in the header of this post.

I start this discussion because I am unsure of alot of things in life, however each time, where I actually am sure of what I want to do, I am hold back by my parents and their "Your are not thinking clearly"-speech.

Maybe this require a bit more basic information about me to actually make sence.
Well some of you may know me already, but I am a 19 Year old guy living in north-west region of Denmark (EU).
For the last few months I have been planing to move, once I start at university after the summer. Good ide right? Well not if you ask my parents.

Each time I bring up the topic, where I say I wish to move, they always say things as following:
-
(Well here things to notice is, I have to get up at 4 am, then take a bike 24km to the busstation, for then to take 3 hours in bus, Which I then will be at the university at 9am, which is 1 hour to late for my first lessons).
-
(My parents got the idea to think I base my decisions and actions, because a friend of mine is doing the same, the issue on this part is the fact that my friend is a girl, which they think I have a crush on)
-
(My parents believe, if I move out I will make the same mistakes as my father did. My father in this cased lived in the capital of Denmark, which is a much more expencive place to live, Even though I have to take a loan to afford the deposit of the apartment, I can in my case pay it in full within 2 to 3 years, where my father got stuck with the debt for 15 years, because he didn't want to complet his university studies).

So I am kind of in a dilemma, I don't know what I should do, my options is;
1. Stay home, get up each day at 4am, spent 6 hours on bus transport each day and always be late for morning lectures.
2. Move out, get up each day at 7am, spent 30 minutes on bike transport each day, and always be there for morning lessons.

For the second option, I however have to take a loan to pay the apartment deposit, which I plan to be able to pay off in a 2 or 3 year period, Which means it is paid once i finish my bachlor degree at university.

I would like to get some opinions and maybe some suggestions for what I should do?
Honestly I would like to do the second option, however how do I convice my parents to let me move?

Although I'm REALLY not one to give you advice, I do think that moving out is really the best thing to do in this situation. Although it is a huge decision, it will give you some great experience, and, chances are, it will be better than it is now. I hope this helps -Tom

 

[LifelessDane]

Although I'm REALLY not one to give you advice, I do think that moving out is really the best thing to do in this situation. Although it is a huge decision, it will give you some great experience, and, chances are, it will be better than it is now. I hope this helps -Tom

Well it will also be most likely for me to actually move. Since today I also just got confirmed that I am able to get on to the studies in Nano-technology, which been my goal for years, if my grades are good enough ofcourse. And as I told @Koala_Steamed in my other reply on this discussion I am able to live with what I got even with a loan. So in theory it should be a win situation for me

 

[Tom Cryer]

Well it will also be most likely for me to actually move. Since today I also just got confirmed that I am able to get on to the studies in Nano-technology, which been my goal for years, if my grades are good enough ofcourse. And as I told @Koala_Steamed in my other reply on this discussion I am able to live with what I got even with a loan. So in theory it should be a win situation for me

Sounds brilliant. I wish the best of luck with your future

 

[LifelessDane]

Sounds brilliant. I wish the best of luck with your future

Thanks
Hopefully everything works out

 

[GrapeCollie]

Dude... You're 19, you're technically an adult. You can do what you want! I know it's hard, but you really need to sit down with your parents and discuss this more, prove that you're responsible on your own. Good luck my friend!

 

[NoDragonsPlz]

Move out. Save yourself 6 more years of tyranny.
Source: personal experience.

 

[Koala_Steamed]

Sounds like you have it planned out quite well, make sure you also account for any unexpected bills. How much is rent per month?

Also congrats on being accepted!!

 

[LifelessDane]

Sounds like you have it planned out quite well, make sure you also account for any unexpected bills. How much is rent per month?

Also congrats on being accepted!!

Well rent per month is around 3100Dkk ($440) with heat, water and power included.
For unexpected bills I put around 100Dkk ($15) which is what I have left each month when everything is paid (unless I get a job beside my studies).

Also I am not done with my final exams at highschool, so there is still a chance that I don't get accepted, but as the university administraton explained on their website, is for nanotechnology you are automaticly approved if you reach their minimum access requirements. Which I will both with classes, study level and high chances I will do it with grades aswell.

Going to write an email back to the administration because I have a few extra questions to ask them.
But I also found out that i don't have to take a normal loan for the accommodation, because I am allowed to open a "Bank account with credit" which means I am allowed to use 25.000Dkk (which I don't have) it will work exatly like a loan, but there is no minimum period to pay off and there is no fees for loan administration costs

@GrapeCollie Well yeah I am 19, and since I have everything planned out. I don't see the issue with me moving away. So yeah, maybe it is time I take the risk and make my own decisions.

@NoDragonsPlz well I wouldn't say it is a tyrani to live home with my parents.
I have always had a fine amount of freedom, taking in notice that i did live home.
However I don't believe I can take it for another 7 years if I am going all the way for a master degree in nanotechnology and quantum mechanics. And missing lessons is not really a good option