How many of you play D&D? / Funny D&D stories

[GeeksGoGaming]

I've been playing D&D now for about 2 years. I'd like to say that my DM skills have gotten pretty good. Everyone who plays D&D can comment there funny stories from when the played to this post.[DOUBLEPOST=1536488283][/DOUBLEPOST]To start it off I'll tell a story:

Me and my party were playing D&D. There mission was to sneak into a keep and assasinate the king. Pretty simple right? While on their way to the town, one of the players (My brother), decided that it would be much easier to sneak into the keep if they hid Inside a giant cake that was being given to the king for his birthday. They managed to kill the king in the end but were promtly exiled by their master because they were "Meant to be on a stealth mission".

So ya, that's one of my stories. Post yours if you have any and we'll see where the thread goes.

 

[Nerd]

So this is a bit of an older story, but it definitely is the best I've got.

My party just started out, I believe they're still level 2 at this point (me being the DM), so these guys need to investigate some shady traders that are coming into town with the caravan, everything goes great... Until they notice that one of the villagers seems to be following them. Now as any other reasonable party on an investigation... They chase him down and beat him up, but he does not speak any valuable information and he looks scared of something, what do they do next ? Kill him, search him... Find a tattoo on his body and... out of all the people the gnome decides to skin him and take the tattoo as a proof -_-"

And that was the day I have learned that my party is the murderous kind.

 

[GeeksGoGaming]

So this is a bit of an older story, but it definitely is the best I've got.

My party just started out, I believe they're still level 2 at this point (me being the DM), so these guys need to investigate some shady traders that are coming into town with the caravan, everything goes great... Until they notice that one of the villagers seems to be following them. Now as any other reasonable party on an investigation... They chase him down and beat him up, but he does not speak any valuable information and he looks scared of something, what do they do next ? Kill him, search him... Find a tattoo on his body and... out of all the people the gnome decides to skin him and take the tattoo as a proof -_-"

And that was the day I have learned that my party is the murderous kind.

Great story, thanks for sharing it

 

[IRONMANTIS4]

This is either a funny D&D session story or the most pathetic thing I have ever done / ever happened to me in D&D XD

So before the session earlier I just came from a school field trip ( Oceanography course ) to Dana Point Beach. The session started out as everyone leveling up their characters due to acquiring enough experience points from the previous sessions with the combats we've been through and when I rolled an D8 dice for the level up HP gain I got a max 8 ! Our party continued the session where we left off, which was in a rented ship heading to an island to see if we could retrieve an artifact. To get to the island we have to swim over there instead of bringing the ship because there was no wind to push the sail / ship forward. Bad enough I have a history of bad luck / bad rolls ( the max D8 roll for the level up HP gain was my highlight ) , but my luck was all used up on that HP level up gain roll that I continue to fail my Dex save roll to swim through the ocean / get through the ocean to get to the island that I required 2 other people to come assist me after nearly drowning at least 8X ( all bad rolls all less than 10 ). One of the party member who assisted me first refused the other member's help ( Druid who shapeshifted himself to a giant octopus ) and hit him with the back handle of his sword .... unbeknownst to him .. that does bludgeon damage ... it caused the Druid memeber who shapeshifted himself to a giant Octopus to pass out and undo his shapeshift spell. So .... because of my bad luck ...... I caused the whole party to take at least 40 minutes to an hour of the session to just get through a simple body of water / calm ocean and now caused 2 members ( including myself ) to have a high chance of drowning. Because of me .... this giant Druid .. will be known as the person who transformed / shapeshifted himself into a giant octopus who ironically doesn't know to swim. So after hellish rolls and attempts to save each other ( nearly got left by the party cause it seemed like fighting drowning seems futile for me and it leads to other members possibly dying cause of me ) we rested for a few D&D time minutes ... created an excuse to my D&D group that the water is " cursed " or alive / have a mind of its own like the one in the Disney movie Moana XD. Afterwards we got to the island and finally got to explore it only to get ambushed by 8 Giant Toads and some members of the party ended up inside the toad's stomach ( still alive ) due to their tongue grappling action and all I can do is ( I'm an Elf with a Ranger class ) unintentionally get the toad's attention to go after me next because of my still ongoing bad dice rolls resulting in my character " arching the ground " not very far from himself. At the end of that session I finally ..... and I mean .. FINALLY ! got some good dice rolls ( besides rolling for that HP gain from character leveling up ) and injured a couple of Giant Toads. I leaned now that don't go to the beach before a session or go near any body of water again in the game XD

 

[FireAngel64]

Lets go

 

[Geist]

Kinda hard to say, it's all relative. From a player who got tired of the game and left the quest giver and turned into a massive dragon and flew off... Ended up getting killed by a giant's boulder... Which was part of a quest in that session.