Nerd is writing a web novel ? :O

Nerd

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So as you can guess from the title, yes I am starting a web novel :D

For the last year or maybe even more now I've been reading web novels practically any time that I was not sleeping or working on something else xD So it finally has come down to the point where I wanted to write something myself and here we are !

Now why am I making this thread ? Because I need someone to actually read this and tell me their opinions :)

Here's the first chapter:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1PnLhdQnuCpPU3yqWzCrjs9XpftQjZbrR9ZfjB1bOaYA/edit?usp=sharing

Quick rundown as to what to expect. Cultivation based novel including transmigration. Transmigration other way around than usual, from cultivation world into modern world. How will previously strongest cultivator live with a "Crippled" body of a modern person ?


At the moment its just in the google doc but it will be made public if I decide that I've done a good job with it :)

Long term plans for this project of mine would be to make it into a little side job of mine. But that's being really hopeful, especially when its my first time writing something unrelated to my education xD
 
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zeke morgan

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I would say its very good for your first attempt, there is some slight spelling mistakes, or grammatical errors that I saw - please don't think I'm an expert of anything just trying to be helpful. I would be more than willing to highlight what I've seen in a separate document or something like that if thats helpful to you at all.

Also was there anything that made you decide to do a piece on cultivation based novel? Or was this just something you have always wanted to do?
 

Nerd

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Please do let me know of any mistakes you've seen, spelling and grammar were never my strong points xD (says the guy writing a novel, so sad...)

As for what made my go with cultivation based novel, well probably reading a million (no not literally) of them. I actually wanted to write more of a fantasy kingdom building novel but I realized that it would take a lot more research into all kinds of topics and I just couldn't get any single idea that I had click with me, so I took the next best thing lol
 

zeke morgan

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No worries, to be honest I'm sure everyone has made some spelling or grammar mistakes in their writing, I know I sure have. I shall go through the above chapter and highlight what I've seen when I can unfortunately I'm working 6 days this week and its really taking it out of me at the minute as such I don't have much free time when I get back from work.
 

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Dude I don't like reading if there ain't no pictures dammit.
So instead you should rate my short story that I once had on my mind :)
This high school girl has complicated relationships with her parents gets bullied etc idk
after diagnose it turns out she had cancer of some sort.
Everything turns around *insert more complicated relationship turns* and she will eventual fake that she is alive with the help
of a doctor saying something along the lines that she has to live in another country for medicine too ease her relatives pain but she actually died lol.
So basicly a sad story :(
 

Nerd

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Dude I don't like reading if there ain't no pictures dammit.
So instead you should rate my short story that I once had on my mind :)
This high school girl has complicated relationships with her parents gets bullied etc idk
after diagnose it turns out she had cancer of some sort.
Everything turns around *insert more complicated relationship turns* and she will eventual fake that she is alive with the help
of a doctor saying something along the lines that she has to live in another country for medicine too ease her relatives pain but she actually died lol.
So basicly a sad story :(
I'm very much not a fan of sad stories... Also I feel it would be pretty hard to reason this kind of setting, especially the doctors help, what kind of initiative would he have to do it, how would they get around the laws etc. And I am assuming that after hiding the death of her you'd have some kind of look trough how it affected everyone that she knew, otherwise it would feel like the end is too abrupt.
 

ChatDisabled

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I'm very much not a fan of sad stories... Also I feel it would be pretty hard to reason this kind of setting, especially the doctors help, what kind of initiative would he have to do it, how would they get around the laws etc. And I am assuming that after hiding the death of her you'd have some kind of look trough how it affected everyone that she knew, otherwise it would feel like the end is too abrupt.
No the end will be like when she has passed away she made letters in advance to send to everyone! but like idk after 10 years orso the last letter would contain the truth and then her parents cry but also laugh etc.
This is indeed a "sketch" the details would be created later like the doctor and laws xd (not like anime is real or anything smh)
edit: also the letters would contain pictures of her in that other country idk like edited or something
 

Nerd

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(not like anime is real or anything smh)
that's true, but having a plausible reasoning for everything is what separates bad story from a good one most of the time I think.[DOUBLEPOST=1527183454][/DOUBLEPOST]Btw thanks for the corrections for the 1st chapter @zeke morgan ;) looks like reading poorly translated novels has made some influence on my writing as well :p
 
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zeke morgan

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that's true, but having a plausible reasoning for everything is what separates bad story from a good one most of the time I think.[DOUBLEPOST=1527183454][/DOUBLEPOST]Btw thanks for the corrections for the 1st chapter @zeke morgan ;) looks like reading poorly translated novels has made some influence on my writing as well :p
Glad I could help @Nerd , all very minor things anyway. If you need me to go over subsequent chapters just let me know :)
 

Nerd

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Glad I could help @Nerd , all very minor things anyway. If you need me to go over subsequent chapters just let me know :)
Only if you want to and have enough time to read them. I by no means expect you to continue doing this. Also as exams are coming up for me I doubt I'll have anything other than the current 2.5 chapters done for couple of weeks anyways, so there's no rush and I can drag some of my friends into this proofreading instead :p
 

zeke morgan

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Only if you want to and have enough time to read them. I by no means expect you to continue doing this. Also as exams are coming up for me I doubt I'll have anything other than the current 2.5 chapters done for couple of weeks anyways, so there's no rush and I can drag some of my friends into this proofreading instead :p
It's fine I like doing it plus then I get to read the other chapters haha. I can always find time to do it around work so its really not a bother for me